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Hit and run assault wtf Cornellian loading! on Friday (11/16) at 10:18pm No. 39452

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Crime Alert: Assault - 800 block University Ave.
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The Ithaca Police Department is investigating an assault that took place near 800 University Ave. on Nov. 16, 2012 at approximately 8:22 PM. A Cornell student reports that he was crossing University Avenue when a dark colored vehicle (possibly an SUV) traveling west on University Avenue collided with him while in the roadway. The student said he yelled at the passing vehicle which subsequently stopped, backed up, and the occupants exited the vehicle and assaulted the student. The victim describes the suspects as two college-age white males and one college-age black male. No further physical descriptors are available at this time. The suspect vehicle is reported to have dark tinted windows and was playing loud music at the time of the assault.

Anyone with information regarding this incident is asked to contact the Ithaca Police at 607-272-9973 or the Cornell Police at 607-255-1111.

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3 posts

Tallgirlproblems Cornellian loading! on Sunday (11/11) at 10:46pm No. 38787

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I'm 5'11", thin, attractive, easy-going. Why do guys rarely approach me? Discuss.


Sucks to be a tall girl.
>feelsbadman.jpg

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17 posts

No personal attacks Cornellian ## Admin loading! on Tuesday (11/13) at 9:26pm No. 39131

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We've equipped the Donlon girls with a moderator account so they can help us get a handle on this one personal attack spammer who keeps posting stuff.

Daily reminder that personal attacks, internet-bullying, invasions of individual privacy, calling girls sluts, posting girls' facebook pictures and calling them sluts etc. are not allowed on Ezra Hub. Get a grip.

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5 posts and 2 images

Bears Den Bombing Harder than the RPCC Rave Cornellian loading! on Wednesday (10/24) at 9:03pm No. 36088

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Well… it's about two months out and the Bear's Den (student pub in the ivy room) is already a huge failure, as expected. This shows once again that the Cornell/the SA absolutely poppycocking fails to do shit that students are interested in and is killing social opportunities on campus.

>scan student IDs so they can track you AND look at your ID
>no actual bar to sit at, just a keg sitting next to the pizza place run by the same guy as the pizza place
>still looks like a poppycockin cafeteria.. nothing changed it's the ivy room
>gay events that nobody wants to come to
>it's run by cornell, who threw boatloads of money at this failure
pic related, the only people that go are SA fratstars

What the poppycock Cornell? Are you even trying?
Sun article: http://cornellsun.com/section/news/content/2012/10/24/despite-music-flowing-beer-pub-straight-drawFull post not shown.

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20 posts and 1 image

OFFICIAL PARTY THREAD SATURDAY 11/10 Cornellian loading! on Saturday (11/10) at 7:38pm No. 38677

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Nas (epic failure of a concert) if you were dumb enough to buy a ticket
No frat parties
No house parties that I know of
Bars

It's a shitty night to go out if you're not 21…

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12 posts

Free computer monitor Cornellian loading! on Friday (11/16) at 3:10pm No. 39409

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Free 19" HP w19 LCD monitor comes with power cord. 1440x900 resolution fully functioning. Must come pick up in Collegetown near Casc ASAP

Text (603) 828-2669 for pickup. Pic is the actual monitor

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1 post

Slope Day General Cornellian loading! on Friday (11/16) at 2:04pm No. 39400

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Does the SDPB poppycocking suck or what?
How mad are the pleb degenerate townies? lel
Are we finally gonna get a decent performer this year?
Are they going to turn slope day into slope week?
Is the administration gonna man the poppycock up and realize that students want to drink instead of planning gay RPCC rave events?

Their shit website: http://slopeday.cornell.edu/
Sun article today: http://cornellsun.com/section/news/content/2012/11/16/%E2%80%98slope-week%E2%80%99-new-plan-considered-cornell-tradition
(the comments section is glorious)

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2 posts

Fat people stories at Appel Cornellian loading! on Thursday (11/15) at 2:18pm No. 39303

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>sitting in appel about to eat
>feel a slight force pulling me from over by the hamburger station
>turn around
>a huge hamplanet bish is there loading up on 4 hamburgers with cheese and bacon
>another hamplanet walks up and starts to do the same
>they start to talk
>they are orbiting each other like a binary star system
>the entire cafeteria is being sucked in by their gravitational pull
>all the food in appel is inhaled by them and the staff can't do anything to keep up
>the building collapses due to their fat

Fat people stories at Cornell. (Why are you even here if you're fat?)

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2 posts

Post-Fellatio Catastrophe!! Schlongdaddy Macgyver loading! on Thursday (11/15) at 10:21pm No. 39354

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A girl I hooked up with was giving me this truly incredible blowjob, I mean it was great. But it just happened at the worst possible moment in human history. You see the night it all went down, I'd been pretty much running on coffee and Gatorade and really was jonesing to go take a piss. But I'm not going to be a douchebag and stop this girl when her lips are wrapped so tightly around my throbbing cock while she's working that shaft just perfectly and say, "stop bitch, I have to go take a piss. Brb"

She even played with the balls! You know how ridiculous it would look if I were to suddenly tell her that I had to go and make liquid gold in the toilet but we can resume momentarily? It would look absolutely ridiculous, that's how it would look! The moment would be killed and I probably wouldn't get to drain my balls for the rest of the night in a nice wet orifice for the night. I would've had to jack it.

I'm not that guy. I don't jack it, I'll tell you that now.


So eventually I came … after this beautiful cocksucking goddess took every inch of my length, I filled her mouth with my pearly white cum.. and more or less, I kind of sort of peed moreFull post not shown.

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10 posts and 3 images

Cornellian loading! on Friday (11/16) at 1:36am No. 39388

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Is it worth getting weighlifting shoes if I do serious olys? Thinking about these: http://www.adidas.com/us/product/mens-weightlifting-power-lift-trainer-shoes/SN823?cid=G45631 for $90.

Anyone with experience? Are they worth it?

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2 posts and 1 image

Cruising For Cock? Cornellian loading! on Thursday (11/15) at 11:05pm No. 39366

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Anybody bisexual men near who are interested in a threesome with an androgynous male and a woman? There's no catch. We just want to have some nice responsible casual sex with a third party. Or another couple. Doesn't matter. Anybody interested?

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6 posts and 1 image

IT'S OVER, CORNELL IS FINISHED Cornellian loading! on Thursday (11/15) at 1:48pm No. 39296

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>As part of the University’s “Toward New Directions” diversity plan, the School of Industrial and Labor Relations is focusing on increasing the number of students in the college who come from low-income backgrounds, according to a recent report.

Ffffffpoppycock, it's over. As if it couldn't be worse, ILR is gonna drag us down even more. Can we please get rid of them, Skorton? Imagine how this impacts our stats..

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20 posts and 1 image

Rob Schneider is a very good actor and stars in a number of excellent films you should watch them Cornellian loading! on Wednesday (11/14) at 12:33am No. 39157

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>Meet cute 7.136777/10 (repeating of course) at Noyes
>Constantly wears Black Flag tshirt on treadmill
>I constantly wear my Misfits tshirt
>Only see her while doing calf raises
>Notice she only talks to one person before and after she gets on the treadmill, and they dont seem like close friends
>I make eye contact after about a week
>She smiles
>I smile
>YousmileIsmile.Bieber
>Work up the courage to talk to her
>Name is Patricia, but her friends jokingly call her Patty because it sounds funny
>Call her Patty at first jokingly to flirt
>She gets my humor and we become quick friends
>We talk about cat .gifs
>She knows what .gif stands for
>I didnt even know (GFull post not shown.

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7 posts and 1 image

Cornell rips off Ezra hub name Cornellian loading! on Thursday (11/15) at 1:44pm No. 39295

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Entrepreneurship retards at Cornell call their new place above CTB eHub.

>eHub

Should we sue them? Article: http://cornellsun.com/section/news/content/2012/11/15/space-cornell-entrepreneurs-open-above-ctb also anyone think this will bomb?

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3 posts

Cornellian loading! on Wednesday (11/14) at 8:55pm No. 39257

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A Democrat will be elected in 2016.

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4 posts

An Ode to the Princess of Ezra Hub Cornellian loading! on Tuesday (11/06) at 6:13pm No. 38309

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Dear princess of Ezra Hub
Welcome our online club.
The Queen was a bitch,
So we need a switch.
Your abs, we are mirin',
To get fit, we are aspirin,
and your posts, we're desirin'
How much do you squat?

All hail the princess of Ezra Hub! Poppycock the queen! We want the princess! The Princess is our true representative.

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12 posts and 2 images

Cornellian loading! on Wednesday (11/14) at 3:36pm No. 39210

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The Brown Daily Herald

Hudson '14: Universal suffrage is immoral
Oliver Hudson
Opinions Columnist
Published: Tuesday, November 13, 2012

http://www.browndailyherald.com/hudson-14-universal-suffrage-is-immoral-1.2793060#.UKQAn-Oe9qI

Here comes the shitstorm.

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27 posts and 3 images

Cornellian loading! on Monday (11/12) at 4:12pm No. 38862

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>Get in spaceship
>Fly at speed of light
>Have powerful flashlight attached to nose of spaceship
>Turn on
>Light now traveling faster than "speed of light"


Problem, physicists?

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9 posts and 1 image

Cornellian loading! on Wednesday (11/14) at 2:35pm No. 39205

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>tfw you will never blow your entire load into an innocent freshman girl's soft, warm and tight ass
>tfw you realize there is no reason to live anymore

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2 posts

Take home exams Cornellian loading! on Tuesday (11/13) at 10:52pm No. 39140

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What does everyone think of take home exams?

They tend to rustle my jimmies because I feel like half the class is cheating/collaborating, making it difficult to get a comparably high grade while being honest.

Would you cheat on an exam?

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14 posts and 1 image

Taverna Banfi: overpriced, oversalted, barely edible Cornellian loading! on Tuesday (11/13) at 1:21am No. 38976

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I had read that the restaurant in the Statler hotel had a reputation for fine dining. The experiences I've had there have been borderline terrible. While I did find the student staff cheery, helpful, and for the most-part accommodating, the food does not match the price tag. It's not even close. Anyone know what's up with this?

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4 posts

FRESH MEAT loading! on Sunday (11/11) at 10:07pm No. 38761

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If you are a senior, what are the best ways to have casual sex with freshmen girls? I ONLY want freshmen girls, it's sort of a fetish of mine. Mostly been sleeping with girls in my class or juniors this year so far, but want the little ones. Crave that feel of plowing into a tight, naive, helpless freshman as she shakes in excitement. I know freshmen want senior cock really badly but I don't know where to find them.

Lady killers, virginity slayers, get the poppycock in here.

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52 posts and 1 image

David Petraeus and Paula Broadwell Cornellian loading! on Saturday (11/10) at 4:06pm No. 38647

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Would you have cheated on your (admittedly hamplanet) wife of 38 years for this bitch and jeopardize your entire career?

David Petraeus and Paula Broadwell general. Fuark man….

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23 posts and 2 images

Cornellian loading! on Sunday (11/11) at 3:29pm No. 38715

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It starts tomorrow.

I am getting up at 6am and my life begins anew. After months of endless depression and self-pity, hours upon hours spent on reddit and neglecting my body, barely eating and when I do it has been shit food, no exercise whatsoever and just general pussiness, I can take no more. This is last chance saloon for me, I am at rock bottom, I have never been this low physically or mentally. Well it ends…

I am lazy and skinny and my life is in the gutter, my grades are shit and I haven't got laid in over a year. My confidence and self-esteem are in poppycocking pieces. I am going to turn it around. Usually at this time of year I'd be waiting until New Year so I could make my resolutions that I always break. Well not this year. No resolutions. I'm getting up at 6am and I'm going to work out. Poppycock it I won't stand for any more cowardice from myself. The battle begins.

I've been knocked down a thousand times (usually by myself) but I'm not giving up. At least I've picked myself up and I'm giving it another shot. This is literally the last chance I will give myself. If I fail this time I will literally kill myself than live with the shameFull post not shown.

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18 posts

Cornellian loading! on Wednesday (11/14) at 5:50am No. 39186

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So I have to do presentation for class…
>awkward as poppycock
>start working out
>not so awkward
>zyzz is my inspiration
>presentation again
>trembling
>just keep telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez brah"
>get confident
>my turn
>I get up there
>start shaking uncontrollably
>start telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez brah"
>teacher says I can start anytime
> start off with "i'm fawkin zeez brah"
>at this point I'm so nervous I blackout
>"i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
>repeat at least 4 more times
>look around the room, people are saying "why does he keep saying that?"
Full post not shown.

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2 posts

Lolbertards A reactionary loading! on Tuesday (11/13) at 10:38am No. 39012

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It would be lovely to be a lolbertard. You know everything that's needed to know, so you don't have to learn anything:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Yes-Men-Andreas-Bichlbauer/product-reviews/B0006N2DSI/ref=cm_cr_pr_hist_2?ie=UTF8&filterBy=addTwoStar&showViewpoints=0

>Even if they hadn't pulled out the giant SINEP contraption, I'm sure the audience wouldn't have asked any questions about the WTO's plan to monitor employees. The WTO has absolutely nothing to do with employees in any conceivable way. No doubt the audience knew this. And, it would be fairly typical for a group of Europeans to remain quiet about an American making a fratstar of himself in public. The most frustrating thing I found was that all the pranks that were meant to satire the WTO missed the mark completely.

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5 posts

Cornellian loading! on Wednesday (11/14) at 5:30am No. 39182

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Ezra Hub.. what is your goal body from lifting? Pic related, mine:

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1 post and 1 image

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